Feeling extremely depressed.
Like i could kill myself in the bat of an eye right now and nobody would notice. To make it worse, i'd just gotten a 92.5% for a chemistry test. Bloody hell. I NEED to get a 100 percent for god's sake. I completely screw up my practical.
Anyways. Today can be classified as a complete failure. Binged the whole day. NOT GOOD. Plus i've had diarrhea at least 4 times today.
TOO MUCh CALORIES.
I don't want to disappoint N now that i know i seem to her.
I FEEL SO OBESE!!!!
Personally, i've always felt that my creation was mistake, and like how some people ignore their mistakes when they're embarrassed, God's ignoring me. He should not have spared my life last time. I was on life support at three days old. He should 'ave killed me, don't you think?
After all, i'm nothing but a useless piece of filth that's a burden to the world. It would be a better place without me. I hate it when people expect me to tell them all these feelings, to "let it out". And then when i do, they react in a way that makes it SO obvious they think i say these things for the "reverse psychology effect" and for attention.
Guess what? That was never my intention. I say these things because i REALLY feel this way.
darling, don't be so hard on yourself. Just remind yourself, tomorrow WILL be better. You know it will be. You can do it. I have faith in you. And no, you are NOT useless.
ReplyDelete92.5%? I would be over the moon if I got that mark in science! My science is so failed. But yes, you CAN do it!
much love,
anna~
oh sweety don't be so hard on urself !!
ReplyDeleteand 92.5 ! :O i think that's a whole bunch srsly! i would be super excited