I feel so fat

Is this what "healthy" feels like? I see what I eat- in most people's standards I can tell it's freaking healthy. In fact some consider a BMI of below 20 to be underweight and mine's 20.9. I have to admit, despite all the healthy mindset i'm adopting and shit, I still crave a perfect BMI of 16.4. Can't deny it. Sounds lovely. But to be more realistic, I think for now my goal BMI shall be 19.5. I'll see what comes next after achieving it. I personally think "underweight" means 17.5, really.

Anyways. I also borrowed the book "Losing the Last 5 Kilos by Michelle Bridges, and man, her workout plan is intense. It always sucks whenever I read such books cuz I still live with my parents and I don't get to buy my own food and I can't follow the diet part of the plan AND my family is what I personally consider FREAKING ASS UNHEALTHY.

There's this mini section in the book called "Ten exercises for mind fitness" and I think it's really... I don't know, like how she's all about, it's not about willpower, it's about just making yourself do it. K, so it's:

-Instead of coming home from work and sitting on your butt, pick yourself up, put on your runners and get out the door

-If you drink coffee, go a whole week without sugar and make it skim milk; plus if you usually have two or three coffees a day, knock it down to one and savor it!

-Walk, run or cycle all or part of the way to work twice a week

-Take the stairs every chance you get for one week. If you don;t know where they are, find them, even if they're the fire stairs

-Next weekend, offer to do the gardening for someone you care about (wife, husband, friend etc)

-Choose to drink water rather than alcohol at a weekend social event

-Pick one chore that has been hanging over your head for months and do it

-Go for one week without any chocolate

-Hold your tongue when you catch yourself about to pass judgement on someone or something

-Choose two nights a week when you don't watch any tv and you go for a walk instead

They're supposed to see if you're ready for her intense ass workout thing but really, I think they're good for anyone who needs a boost about not procrastinating or just doing stuff they need to do.

I'm going to the gym later and I think I need to pump up my bike wheels soon:) So I can go cycling.

Bad news. My family's trying to persuade me to swim. I was hoping they'd forget I like swimming. Period or no, I CAN'T swim cuz people will see my cuts. FML.