I'm getting more and more stressed and I feel incredibly guilty when 2 things happen : When i'm eating too much and when i'm studying too little. I only managed to study 3 chapters today :( Cuz I fell asleep in the afternoon for 4 hours. But yesterday was brilliant, 6 chapters.
Insomnia's back, I try to sleep, eyes close, mind races like a bullet train: Formulas, essays, points. Madness. Going crazy.
To keep my head a little calmer, I have started to plan my meals:
Tomorrow's plan:
Breakfast: 1 egg (78), one slice wholewheat bread (maybe ketchup, I have to buy mustard) (74)
Lunch: This small packet of biscuits (110?)
Snack at 4:30 pm: 1 egg (78)
Dinner: Whatever my grandmother cooks (Max: 230)
Fruits: (~50)
Total: 620
Fuck. Soon i'm gonna eat about 300 or less. Cuz i'm like studying my butt off now, gonna give myself a few days for my brain to get used to less food.
Gonna wake up early to study, then gym at about noon, then study till about 2? Then gonna suntan! While studying haha I don't care if it's bad for my eyes, I mean people can read at the beach right! I just bought banana boat's spf4 tanning oil. And my skin (especially my left upper arm) has like huge gaping holes in my skin from the previous burn. But like I care, tanned skin makes you look thinner and makes me feel better in my skin anyways. I hate my body, like the weight is SO DIFFICULT TO BUDGE.
Stubborn ass body I hate it so much.
And to add on to my list of irritants my dog has developed a bout of craziness, making a TON of noise once everyone goes to sleep, he's disturbing my studies and sleep, fucking bitch.
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