...

what i really need right now is to sit down with someone who is willing to, and just talk. So much crap clogging my head. The urge to cut building up like a damn itch- the more you try to ignore it, the itchier it gets. You know soon you'll give in to it and scratch the itch like the world is ending- that leaving it will just make it worst. Picked up the blade twice today. So damn hard to put the damn thing down. To stop myself from slicing it across the flesh, feeling the sharp flash of pain, which makes everything dim, distancing myself from the rest of the world in my own bubble of numb. Want that so bad.

How else to deal with this turmoil inside of me?

There's no where else for me to hide.

Will soon try to put everything into words here.

not now.

Happy new year everyone:) Too bad i have to spend 1/1/2011 fat.

Working on my resolutions

So... i'm trying so hard not to cut. Any advice on dealing any other way?