To my body

To my body:

You disgusting, repulsive, fat, uncontrollable needy, wobbly, excessive, greedy, UGLY, rebellious THING.

Why won't you listen?

It's incredibly frustrating, dealing with you. You have never had the tendency to fatness, I have never been overweight, getting you to actually be FAT would require me to overeat excessively. Yep, you stay at a healthy weight with no effort at all, "slacking" on my diet will not bring you into fatness, maybe you'll put on 5 pounds at most, but, no, not fat.

But don't you get it? I don't want healthy. I want thin- no NOT the thin my friends call you. Remove the "healthy" rosiness, chubbiness of your cheeks, carve away the NORMAL curve of thigh, arm, belly, calves.

Stop it. STOP RIGHT THERE. Stop turning into a woman. I can tell what you're doing, rollicking carelessly towards womanhood. I DO NOT WANT YOU TO BECOME A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!

Listen to me, cooperate for ONCE for fuckssakes! I do not want normal healthiness! I want emaciation.

I am fucking sick to hell of you and your normalcy. Yes, you heard right, I want you to be a freak of nature, agree with the mind for once. Remember the mind reading the science encyclopedia, the section called reproduction in humans, the part about puberty and its effects at 8 years old? Remember what I said- out loud? "Oh no. I do not want this, I do not want any of this."

Please, cooperate.

It is both unfortunate and fortunate you are mine.

Unfortunate, because I have to deal with your curves and cycles, something I have NEVER EVERRRRR wanted. I have to deal with repressing all your ridiculous, impertinent demands, the chubby , FUCKING CHUBBY CHEEKS! The grippable thighs. The round, WOMANLY arms, I don't want WOMAN!

Fortunate because, as you are mine, it is completely within my power to bind you up, gag you, fling you bodily around like a rag doll. String you up like a puppet, I am the puppeteer of you.

I hate you, hate you so much I try not to think about the crazy hatred. It's strong enough to make me nauseous.

I'm just a step away from slashing you up, completely.

I don't care, I'm gonna carve you up, turn you into the very picture of perfection. Think Karen Carpenter, Twiggy. Gosh. Twiggy. Yes. Lose 20pounds, cut your hair.

Body, I hate you. FUCK you. sheesh.