"Are you ok?"
I cut myself so badly just now at the end of it my palms and nails were heavily blood-encrusted.
I didn't feel anything. Which was exactly what I wanted.
I cut so much now, I really don't know why I shouldn't anymore. I really don't.
I don't know HOW to stop.
I don't want to anyway.
I don't know why people even try to stop me. I don't feel the pain. It doesn't hurt me. At all. In fact, it takes away the pain. I'm cutting ME, not THEM. It doesn't affect them at all. SO why are they so bothered? I don't get it.
To love myself. To forgive myself. To go easy on myself. To like my reflection.
Happiness.
Such foreign concepts.
I can't even remember the last time they applied to me.
I don't even think they ever did.
they want you to stop because they care for you. they love you. cutting yourself really isn;t worthit. it's only a temporary feeling, then you're left with marks that will stay for such a long time and you might even regret them. i know i do :(
ReplyDeletei am here if you want to talk hun, please don't feel alone. xxx