Anyway, a group of my friends made me go to the canteen with them. I know it's risky, but i absolutely refused to eat anything at all. Anyway, i'm sure they all know anyway. I just did not want to break my fast again. But oh gosh... i haven't experienced anything like that in suuuuch a looong time. My mouth goes dry with fear.. dread makes my heart race, couldn't respond when people ask if i'm ok... all the way to the canteen and throughout the whole time i was in that disgusting place. I mean seriously! I can't eat all that stuff!! you've gotta be kidding me.
Ok, the thing is that i could have told them i didn't wanna go but at that moment i just did not feel like having people discuss my eating habits when i'm not there. They didn't bother asking me out later on, when they went to the macs opposite my school, but they never do anyway, so..
Anyhoo.. I know i don't really do this, like tell you guys my calorie intake but today's was about 200, more or less, so i'm really happy. Only i almost froze to death in air conditioned rooms.. But it's ok...
My weight is 44 but, that's definitely cos of edema.
I met a teacher that taught me at the start of last year, on eof my very very favorite teachers. When she gave my shoulder a friendly squeeze, she told me i became skinnier.. had to quickly duck outta sight 'fore the humongous smile across my face gave me away..:DDD
I think that's where most of the strength for the fast came from.
Ps: Amongst all that heart thumping and not being able to answer anybody and all, on the way to the canteen, a forbidden thing happened. Like the way a shadow of a fog steals across a field, almost invisible, barely tangible, a quiet whisper stole quickly into my head and left just as stealthily.. "I wish i wasn't so scared of food."
i chose to ignore it.
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