Chew it up and Spit it out

i have realised what these "urges to binge" mean.

i DO NOT want to binge.. i feel that way till i swallow, then i feel really fat and gross.

what my body really wants is to chew and spit out.

i ate over a thousand calories today before i figured that out. at least now it's much easier.. instead of controlling cravings, what i'm controlling is impulses, much much easier.. like how some people bite their nails i guess.. it's the action and not the food..

can you believe it.. my class mate was like: does anybody know where to buy scales.. cos i want to buy one so i can weigh myself everyday..

another person was like: oh.. i'm starting my fast on 1st july

another person was like: i go to the gym almost everyday or at least 3x per week to tone.

another person was like:i need to lose weight omgomg!!

another: sighhh.. i want to drink that drink.. but it has so many calories!!!

yeah and so on and so forth you get the idea......

goodness..

i saw the most anorexic girl(can i call her M?) eating today.

how ironic.