Hanging in the balance

Well.. i feel almost normal.. so normal that i am almost ready to close the door of ED in my head and move on like it never happened, a blotch in my history. But i can also feel this HUGE FAT doorstopper in the way of the door, preventing it from closing There is a something else trying to close it, get around the doorstopper. and also, the door seems to be trembling with anticipation, ready to fling itself wide open, the very split second that something else gives just a little.

I'm so confused. there's a raging, deafening, but also invisible and silent battle inside my own head. i can't even cry, screaming out don't feel right. i don't know what to do. so i just try and move on with life, all the time feeling extremely confused.

i had about 1200 calories today. i lost about 400 or 500 from 1hour of kick scootering fast, and on bumpy road. i love love love kick scootering, and elliptical. can you believe it, the gym in my condominium does Not have an elliptical. like wtf?!!

i'm going running tomorrow. yeah. and i don;t think there'll be studying tonight. nope. nada. i made the decided mistake of reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and i know i CANNOT stop once i start Harry Potter, will be right back after this.

i love this snack.. "0% fat, less than 1% added sugar, Lite" yoghurt with granola sprinkled on the top. i'm not sure how many calories in it..

lol, my mom's on a diet too. well not exactly an an Official Diet, but you know what i mean..kay, so here's how she is:

Running almost everyday.. almost everyday about 4 to 15(sometimes) km- it takes her 28mins to run 5km.. so it depends on how much time she has

Very little junk food, candy etc, although she allows a little indulgence once in a while,

a lot of fish and veg, cooked healthily

.. really lucky that my mom's like that, seeing as my dad is fuckin obese and refuses to exercise and all.

I LOVE HARRY POTTER!

kay gonna post this and read all your blogs then back to Harry Potter!!

ps:hope i remember to bathe, not like the last time

Avada Kedavra

Adios!