still more exercise.

i tried to eat normally today.. i really did and almost did, meaning i nearly binged. still, i ran 2km real fast:) really pleased, i mean since both my stamina and speed is getting faster, i can now lose more calories. i have this run thing in my school in tomorrow, i really hope i can go, although the fact that i might have to support my sis in this competition might not allow me too.

even so, i not only ran 2km, i cycled for 17mins quite fast at intensity 3/7.. yeap, and i really mean it when i say exercising takes away your urge to binge, and it must be rather high intensity:)

omgomgomg. i was in the library yesterday.. i saw M sitting in this seat flipping through this mag thing. as i walked pass i realized it was a cookbook. yes, a fucking cookbook. she was frantically flipping back and forth back and forth. and i saw the pictures, it wasn't some salad cookbook ar vegetarian thing. i saw big bowls of macaroni in tomato sauce, huge cream cakes, lobster in brown sauce.. the second time i walked pass, she had stopped her crazy flipping, she was extremely intently reading the recipe (ie: the ingredients and instructions) of this very very very creamy strawberry cake, so intently it looked like she was almost devouring it out of the page. i was like "oh god oh god oh god..!!" for some reason i had started tearing up.. do you get it.... that's her relationship with food. so terrible watching and knowing exactly what is

happening. btw, she said hi to me the other day. like the old times. it freaking BETTER be because she is getting BETTER and NAWT because i am getting skinnier-which is like completely impossible cause i have bingeing quite a bit.

i have new "idols"

Ashley Tisdale

Daria

Dylan Marvil

:)