i want to be thin
i want strength
i want control
why can't i just be normal,
able to eat and not binge?
why can't i have the ability
like so many people do
they eat without a care in the world
laugh
because they have that special ability
i want it to
or maybe i won't ever have it
the ability to love myself for who i am
to look in the mirror and think
"hey, i see a pretty girl looking back and i love her
she might be a bit plump, but i don't care
i still think she is beautiful!!"
why not??????
why not?
why not?
why not?
i want that.
ain't that why we started
to find the ability to love ourselves?
the reason why we refuse to stop?
but the deeper we go,
the further we are from realizing that dream.
the smaller the scale says we are,
the more we dont believe it
using our laser vision
zooming in on microscopic flaws in the mirror
why?
i don't want to do this anymore mans
so why do i keep going?
i'm not ready to stop.
yet.
why?
i am scared
we start off in the search of control
but end up losing it.
we start of in the search of beauty
we end up seeming uglier and uglier
to those who are wannarexics: ana is NOT the cure
don't do this
it is so difficult to stop
i have a suggestion.. why not go love yourself instead?
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